Don’t Cry Over Cereal Milk


Upon hearing about the invention of cereal milk, a woman I know well had an immediate opportunity to try it. With a mix of curiosity and fear, she drank the small sample and wondered to herself how the world is simultaneously puzzling and simply awesome.

Months later, she invested a considerable amount of time organizing her two young daughters’ joint birthday party. She diligently arranged the venue, decorations, gifts, invitations and cake. When her checklist was complete she set about her mind wondering “What else can make this party special?” And then it came to her, “How about I buy cereal milk for all of the guests. I will be the coolest Mom there is!”

And so she made a call to a trusted source that knows about these types of things and obtained the name and website of a noted cereal milk vendor. She went to the website and placed her order, carefully executing the online order form with her name, address, email and credit card information.

Several days later she received an email from the vendor which stated:

“I noticed that you are an attorney who specializes in class action lawsuits. I have had problems with companies trying to reverse engineer my product. What are your intentions with my cereal milk? Please let me know or I will have to cancel your order.”

She was dumbfounded. It was a perfect combination of confusion and hilarity. “Heavens to Murgatroyd” I imagine she said aloud to an otherwise empty room.

She wanted to respond.

She dreamed of responding.

“How about I come to your office and empty the containers of cereal milk on your head?” she began to type, yet quickly deleted, realizing the uselessness of such a response.

Clearly she was dealing with a unique case of delusion.

Soon she set about typing again “My intention with your product is to purchase it and then consume it. I don’t have a laboratory available to me to reverse engineer your product, but I would venture a guess that you pour milk into a bowl of sugar cereal and then strain out the cereal and bottle the liquid for resale? My apologies if I have cracked your top secret formula.”

“Just hit send” she thought. But she couldn’t. No amount of time or energy was worth a response to this type of paranoia.

“Don’t cry over Cereal Milk” she lamented and then proceeded to put the events behind her except for that one remaining question. Does this genius vet all of his customers?

Juice was served at the party instead.


Cereal Milk Recipe (Preparation Time 30 seconds)

You Will Need


-sugar cereal

-mixing bowl or large container

-additional container(s) for the finished product

-colander or strainer


 -pour milk in bowl or container

-pour cereal in bowl or container

-shake or stir

-strain out cereal

-pour milk into container


This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s